I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
