I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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