Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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