David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
