I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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