I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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