so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
