maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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