i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
