You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
