People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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