Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
