? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
