everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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