he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
