You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
