"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
