This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
