Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He felt like a one man threesome
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
