hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Less talking, more tequila
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
