I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
