WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize