that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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