bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
