I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
