that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will be naked everywhere
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
