Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
