U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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