She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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