Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
