I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
