So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
