if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
