And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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