Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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