ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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