TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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