You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't trust your balls anymore.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
