You really coming over, don't trick.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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