i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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