I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
