Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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