don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
