And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
