Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
