I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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