Joe is yelling at the trees again.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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