Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
