So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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