I must be too annoying 4 u.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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