she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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