that's an acceptable place to lick
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
