You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
