we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
